ethereal.cc
Dependence
from the letting-go-isnt-easy department.
written by alan on January 04, 2003

Music: U.N.K.L.E ft. Ian Brown - Be There / Treble Charger - Ever She Flows / Esthero - That Girl / Legion of Green Men - Synaptic Response / Mu-Ziq - Hasty Boom Alert

Today, I put my personal life aside to focus on a couple of my friends. Besides, i'm sure you've all had enough of my whining for now, eh? :)

So I took wes out to the local music (read: guitar) shop. He's been interested in really getting good at guitar for quite some time...most of his life, as he tells me. We perused the stock carefully. I must say I was overwhelmed at how many different ways one could make a guitar, but as amy later explained to me, each one sounds just a little bit different. I would gather from this that each person would have his or her ideal guitar suited to what they like to hear. After we procured a CSR (Customer Service Representative), he proceeded to fill wes in on the different entry-level guitars. Eventually one was selected and purchased, along with a carrying bag to match. Great...now he's set to learn his musical instrument. Off to lunch (at Subway) we go.

We meet up with amy there and wes proceeds to tell her about his recent purchase. Needless to say, she was annoyed. Since amy is studying to become a music teacher, she's well informed on what to purchase in the way of instruments. Wes should have consulted her prior to makig his purchase...she could have saved him up to half of what he paid! Amy made an excellent analogy wherein if she had purchased a computer system without consulting wes or myself first, we'd both get annoyed at her since we could save her money and point her in the right direction. With this little point out of the way, we proceeded to the mall.

At the mall, we browsed the usual stores. Music, books, etc. Upon walking back to the area of the mall from which we entered, amy spotted someone that she didn't quite like. It was someone from her past...a person that left a very unpleasant mark on her, to say the least. It was at this point that she made an abrupt stop (in the middle of bustling mall traffic), did a 180, and proceeded quickly away. Wes was apparently very embarrased by this move...I could understand tho. She simply had no desire to see this person. In recent times, she'd scold anyone who even mentioned that person's name. It was as if the mere thought of it would send shivers down her spine. Now, i've been privy to information regarding why she dislikes this particular person, so i can understand her reactions to him. But c'mon, there must be a point where we let go of our past. She hasn't seemed to have been able to do this as of yet...and it apparently drove wes visibly bonkers. I just wish she'd come to terms with this grudge once and for all. I mean, she's got enough stuff on her plate with school and all, it hardly seems fair to herself to keep these feelings around. I hope she can let go soon. It could be a bad thing if she doesn't.

On a different note, i find myself getting very nervous about my trip down south to Molly's wedding. I don;t know how to act, i don't know how to perceive things. I just wanna stay home and curl up in bed. But, if i do that, then i'll never get anywhere in this life :) To be honest, its the formalities that scare me. The dancing, for one. I've never really done any formal dancing...and i've only been to a wedding once in my life. I'm especially nervous about dancing with Jenn. I know it'll prolly happen...i just don;t know how to approach it. I mean, what if i screw it up, or say something wrong, etc, etc...i dunno how i'll handle myself. The occasional verbal reassurance may calm me for the present time, but it'll still linger on my mind. Hell, I don;t even know how i'm going to approach her in a straight social setting...even when i first meet her! Its bloody terrifying. As you all can tell, I don;t do this often. Actually, this is the first time I've done this sort of thing. I'm a social hermit, you might say. I just hope I can deal with it...or better yet, I hope she understands where i'm coming from. *sigh*


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