from the planned-abscence department.
written by alan on October 11, 2002
Music: Midway - Monkey Forest
After being totally overwhelmed by unexplainable emotions, i've decided to take a hiatus from it all. I'm going back to my mixing and my studying (until school is finished). After i'm done school, i plan to concentrate on getting a decent job and contuing my mixing. I'll also be performing some upgrades to my home network (i.e. moving servers around, reinstalling software, etc) and coding some new extentions to my journal. Most important of all, i'm going to try to get out more. I need to get back to the clubs and spend my time there. At least i'm happy when they play my music...i can dance to my heart's content and not worry about anything else. Now, this means i may have to travel to get to the decent clubs, but i'm willing to pay that price. Its far more worth it than letting my feelings get tossed around like a hot potato.
Everything is on hold. I'm going to try to straighten up my life first. Once i'm back into an acceptable frame of mind, then i'll continue my persuit of emotion and companionship. I've really only been truly happy either when i'm mixing music, or when i'm dancing my ass off to it. And it is this that i really need right now. Plus, a couple pints every now and then wouldn't hurt :)
I'll send that stuff to molly and jenn ASAP. I want that out of the way. Its been lingering about too long. Both of the letters i'll just whip up quickly...i need not put much thought into them. Too much thought here will cause more damage, and i'm already having troubles picking up the pieces.
When a companion comes along that knows what she wants (i.e me :)), then i'll travel that road. Until that time, the constant reminders of how it sucks to be single will continue to plague me...i have no choice but to swallow them whole. Where else am i going to put them, eh? But, on the plus side here, i may start going to more chick-flicks. At least they give me a sense of romance without the emotional crap i get now.
More as develops...
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