from the confucious-say department.
written by alan on August 29, 2002
Music: Planet Funk - Rosa Blu / Nova Scotia - Loose Leaves (Brian Robson 4-4 Mix)
Now i know why i trust wes' judgement so much. I swear that wiser words have not been said. We had a lengthy discussion about my current situation and i came out feeling much better. He shared some of his own experiences with me...some that i didn't know he had. He put things in a different perspective for me...a way that i may not have otherwise seen in my current state (or in my previous state).
In short, i need to re-adopt my attitude of 'not taking any shit' and 'not caring about what other people think'. I used to cherish this way of thinking for many years, until i suddenly dropped it in favour if my futile maneuvers. It seems, however, that old tricks work the best. So i will continue with my fundamental shifts (save the last one) and see what else life has in store for me, knowing full well that more shit like what just happened will happen again. Maybe with the same person, maybe with different people, maybe with many people at once. Who knows? I still hope, in some dark corner of my mind, that i'll meet someone with the qualities i like in the near future. Someone who gives me that fair chance right from the get-go. Someone who won;t lead me on, or take me for a ride, or just use me for whatever devious plans they have. All those that fit in the above descriptions (there's more than one of you...you know who you are), you need to be shot.....figuratively speaking. Okay, in some cases literally....but thats an argument for another time. And just for the records, jenn, i really did have feelings for you. Right from the start. You never gave me the chance to show you....and now you'll never know how far they actually went. I don't just have feelings for anyone...you are unique, and that has made the difference. I live uniqueness....my close friends will agree that when i really like someone, i really mean it.
Tomorrow is 1/2 school, 2 hours of work, and more studying for friday's test. I should be alright for it. I just have to make sure i get all the questions down pat tomorrow and i'll sail thru it. Then i can start my weekend, which includes taking a car ride to Detroit to see The Tragically Hip with wes and amy. It promises to be loads of fun....something i need some more of lately.
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